6 Lessons from 6 Months of Living in SF
Yes, it’s been half a year since I moved to San Francisco (SF). No, I cannot believe it. Some days I wish I could move back to SoCal, some other days I could see myself long term here. Well, time really has flown.
Because I think a lot and like sharing, here are some of the lessons I learned during the past 6 months:
I learn how to set healthy boundaries - This was my first time, excluding college, that I moved out of home. It was a big deal. During my last year of grad school, I had moved back home from LA to OC (read: not that far) and lived there from 2013-2017. It didn’t feel like a long time, but it was. Although I lived at home with my parents and saved big time on rent, I felt that I didn’t have healthy boundaries with my family. I tried living on my own in LA in 2018 for 6 months, but I would still come home for the weekends.
Moving to SF meant that I did not have the luxury of going home when I wanted (that meant I had to figure out what to do with my time which was a dilemma for me; also means that I have to GROW up on my own). Now, I feel that I have a more healthy relationship with my family. When I do visit, I feel more appreciative of the moments I get to spend with them.
I have to be active about my support system - Girl, it was hard to leave behind my family, dog, boyfriend, and friends behind. However, good news is that there are a LOT of single people here in SF and also couples and families. I find that people are more open to meeting up, whether in the city, East Bay, South Bay, you name it. I find myself enjoying connecting with old friends and new ones too. I still feel a surge of loneliness on a weekly basis, and that’s OK. I know I’ll get through it.
Bonus points if you enjoy living with roommates. In my case the landlord couple live upstairs and we share the kitchen and living room. They are really cool people and have become my support system.
I cherish my alone time - sometimes a bit too much - Yes, it’s so easy to curl up into a ball, be in my PJs all day, read 12 books at once, watch YouTube videos, and not leave my place the whole weekend. Also, the sun can be lacking in the Richmond District. What I'm trying to say is that as much I like to dwell on my introversion, I also need social connection.
I appreciate my workplace, my boss, and my coworkers - Feeling supported at work is crucial because I spend at least 40+ hours there. I feel that I can speak honestly with my boss about some of the work stress and challenges. While the workplace is not free of drama and tension, I have in my control to manage my responses. Just because everyone around me is stressed does not mean that I have to be stressed too. Well, I try not to absorb others' stress, but sometimes, it's so hard. I take walks, drink coffee, talk to friendly co-workers, draw on my white board, etc. I find different ways to cope.
In other aspects working in San Francisco is like a dream. I especially love the proximity to nature (read: walking steps from Lands End from my work and walking steps from Golden Gate Park from my place). Also, speaking of walking, I could technically walk 1.2 miles to get to work. Did I tell you I forever retire from 4 hours of commute (LA <-> OC)?
I learn to manage my finances better - Thanks to my sister, I have learned how to consistently budget and track my expenses for the first time ever. Hint: it’s never too late to start. For me I do a projected monthly budget and update with the actuals at the end of the month on Google Sheets. As for tracking my expenses, I am using the good old notebook, dedicated just for tracking expenses, to write down with a pen what I spend on (yes, every transaction 99% of the time).
I learn to prioritize self care - I am grateful that I have health insurance, that acupuncture and therapy have affordable co-pays and are available to me, that I found a yoga teacher whose teaching style is just right (read: slow flow + restorative), that I can visit museums for free using my library card (discoverandgo.org), that I can read bestsellers for free, and that SF is walkable and public transportation friendly place. SF can be a very healing place.
Well, that’s it for now, folks. I may not know where I’ll be in 6 months or a year from now, but I appreciate that you’re on this journey with me. If you find this helpful, please forward to a friend.
What have you learned about yourself this year?
Many blessings,
Alisa
INSPIRATION STATION
Book: Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much Journalby Anne Wilson Schaef (I found this book at the used section of the bookstore in NY for 49 cents)
Music: La Vie En Rose - Piano & Vocal Duet by Nieka Moss and Jason Lux
Movie: Amelie
Quote: "Women are like tea bags. You never know how strong they are until they are in hot water." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Recipe: French Crepe (tried and tasted)