You have a choice
There are stories that I should write and the stories that I must write. After living in what seems like behind a shadow for so long, my real self (or rather a more authentic self) emerges. Moving to a new city like San Francisco is life changing. This is not an exaggeration. I’m still adjusting. I am counting my blessings in this interesting city. Sometimes you do the same darn thing for so long, day after day, expecting a different outcome - this is the definition of insanity by the way. That was me for four years when I lived in OC and commuted in to work in LA. I’m glad to report I’ve retired from 4 hours of commute. My commute now is 10 minutes. Hallelujah. Really, it’s life changing.
One day you might wake up and realize that it doesn’t have to be that way, that you have a choice, a sense of agency, if you will. You begin to imagine a different possibility for yourself. Now, if you’re like me, your desires might have be buried in there for so long, silenced to a mere murmur, but they are there! Through mind training (a.k.a. meditation), I allow for more silence in my life. The thoughts are natural and there’s no stopping the floodgates of them; however, just notice and redirect your attention back to your breath, location point, or mantra. Perhaps you might experience a moment of peace and ease. Perhaps not today, and that’s okay. Silence used to me a scary thing for me, but now, I yearn for those moments of clarity, to guide me, to ground me. How times have changed.
I am a humble warrior, I’d like to think - a warrior in that every day is a battle, from the moment the alarm clock rings to the moment to you get back to bed and all the things that happen in between. Now as I sit here and blog, I find solace here, I notice my back aching and my thighs sore from the cupping my PT did on me today. Any way, here’s an invitation for you to join me, in slowing down, in breathing, in listening to your body. Let your body and breath be your guide. Relax into it fully, even if it’s for 10 seconds, make them count.