mindfulness, personal

Letter from future me

Dear current me,

Hello, there. I know it seems that life is one wild place, where you don’t have much sense of control. There’s just so much pain and suffering around the world. You tell yourself it’s all part of the life cycle (birth, aging, sickness, death) and when someone you knew personally and loved dearly is gone, you are left heartbroken. I know you thought about saving the world as a child and now you realize you only have control over what you do (you don’t even have control over the thoughts/feelings).

I know you’re anxious about the future and despite having a college degree or three, you’re still feeling a little lost. You forget to listen to your body and heart. You don’t have health insurance and just hoping for the best that you don’t get sick. You’re banking on those gummy vitamins. You don’t know where your next paycheck will be. You think that time is running out and you’re aging by the minute. You know you could always go back to the traditional jobs, but you hate the idea of being tied down to one place or job.

You don’t want to settle, so you thought about being your own boss and feel hesitant about doing it. The idea of financial freedom sounds good to you and you began to do some Googling. Then, you feel overwhelmed and feel discouraged. You find ways to distract yourself. You delve yourself in books, hoping to find the answer to your “existential crisis.” You find yourself a coach and/or therapist to sort through your confused mind and that heavy head of yours. You’ve learned to not go through this terrifying world alone and began to seek external help. There’s nothing wrong with you, let me assure you. You learn to start asking your friends for help even though it’s so hard for you because you’re uncomfortable with “bothering people” You feel bad about receiving help and then you learned that it’s okay to ask for help. Life was just never meant to go at it alone.

I want you to hear this from me: know that you’re not alone in this and regardless of what people say or all the images you see on Instagram, don’t feel bad and don’t compare yourself to other people. Let those negative thoughts come to you and sit with them. I know you don’t know how to sit still and not do anything. I know you tend to overschedule yourself and try to find things to do. It’s hard for you to relax and just be. Your breath, which is free, is an incredibly powerful tool and you’re become more and more mindful with each conscious breath. You thought meditation was supposed to stop you from feeling negative or thinking negative thoughts especially about yourself. Then you learned that meditation helped you to become more self-aware.

I’ll say this: I want you to take this time to do more for yourself. Stop worrying so much. You’ve done enough worrying for the next three years. It’s easy to compare your life to others and feel less than. There’s so much to be grateful for. First, I want you to spend more time in nature. Notice all the life around you. Breathe in fresh air. Hear the birds chirp. Notice the leave suspended mid-air by the spider web. Follow the rabbit with leaf on its mouth. Second, I want you to celebrate small wins. This may include shopping and making healthy foods, folding laundry, rearranging your room, putting unwanted clothes in a bag, blogging, walking up the stairs instead of using the elevator or even taking the trash out. Your definition of winning doesn’t need to be what others consider as winning. I know for most of your life, you try to please others and need that external validation. You’ve done enough of that. Today I want you to feel within you. Draw from that inner strength of yours. You are more strong and resilient that you think. Third, I want you to stop social media for a week. I know this is earth-shattering for you since the phone is the first and last thing you hold onto while in bed. I promise you’ll survive. You asked what you’re going to do on the toilet if you don’t have your phone with you to catch up on Instagram? You’ll just have to poop without a phone. You can do it.

Lastly, I don’t want you to ever forget that you are important, you are beautiful and you are worthy no matter what. You are not what you do or don’t do. You are you and I love and appreciate all the parts that make up you.

Sincerely,

Your future me

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